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Chapter 3 * The Itch

The day went by rather slowly, and as Spam sat by the counter, he let out a tired sigh. The microphone darkner had promised that his first sale would happen today, but as the hours went by, Spam was starting to become even more convinced that he had hallucinated the whole thing up.

He had cleaned up nearly the entirety of his store and items, all in expectation of this supposed sale he was going to make. And with not a spot of dust in sight, he scribbled on a small notebook, filling it with Ideas for products, doodles and lists of things he could do and sell if he managed to be successful one day.

Despite his lack of success, he couldn't help but have this internal ambition that made him crave to be more than what he was capable of. He didn't want to be just an Addison, he wanted to be the best Addison. To prove the world wrong and that he could not only fulfil his purpose but that he would be the best at it. To make his siblings proud, to stop being looked down on for things he couldn't control… But he knew it was all just wishful thinking.

He simply sat by his counter, his distracted eyes once again falling on the strange rotary phone that had remained silent ever since the strange call earlier. Did the phone actually belong to the old owner, or was it some otherworldly object that had been gifted to him by some superior being beyond his comprehension?

"Excuse me?" A small voice suddenly called out, making Spam gasp in surprise as he failed to realize the other darkner that made their way into his store. It was a small Virovirokun, looking through his collection of off-brand mugs.

"Y-Yes?" Spam gasped, realizing how rude he must have seemed by not noticing them come in "I'm sorry, I didn't see y-" He felt a lump on his throat preventing him from speaking, likely from the nerves of having his first customer in a while. Maybe they'd actually buy something this time? He cleared his throat "[ Welcome! How can I help you? ]"

He didn't say that.

O-Or he did but it wasn't like he controlled it. Was his Addison program working as intended? He smiled and prayed that the Virovirokun didn't notice how nervous he was.

"Yes! Do you have these in pink?" The smaller darkner smiled and Spam blinked in surprise. Did he? Strange mugs with stock photos of cats with the watermarks still on, he supposed that they could work as strange ironic gifts, but considering his funds, they were the most he could afford when his magic didn't allow him to create proper products by himself.

"[ Yes, we do! They are in the back, would you mind waiting while I go get them? ]"

"Oh, certainly!" The small darkner squeaked, and Spam grimaced. He didn't keep anything in the back, why did he say that? That was where he slept and where the dusty boxes were stored, as well as where the creepy cursed phone had originally been hiding. He got up, realizing he was about to lose yet another client when he came back empty-handed from the storage room.

He got up and as he went into the room, tentatively looking around, he wondered why he had felt compelled to bring up this room to begin with. Maybe it's in one of the boxes, he thought as he reached towards one of them and opened it, his eyes widening in surprise as he spotted pink cat mugs just like the Virovirokun had requested.

He blinked in shock, a strange feeling of nausea and excitement coming over him again. He should really hurry up.

Grabbing the mug, he walked back to his storefront "D-Does this work? " He smiled nervously as he handed them the requested product.

The small pink darkner beamed with this, taking hold of it with a pleased expression "Yes, it's exactly what I was looking for! Thank you so much!" They said, reaching to grab some dark dollars and handing them to him, finishing the transaction.

"A-Anytime! " Spam almost couldn't believe his eyes as he held the bills in his hands. Was this real? Did he actually do it? Was this his first sale?

He watched the Virovirokun leave the store before they stopped halfway through, looking inside the mug. "Oh!"

Spam flinched with this. What did they mean by "Oh"? He felt his heart drop as the Virovirokun approached his counter again. They wanted a refund, didn't they? The mug was damaged, or maybe they remembered a place that sold better products, or maybe-

"I don't think this is supposed to be here!" They said with a giggle as they reached inside the mug and pulled out what seemed to be a business card "It looks important!"

Spam looked surprised and took the card without even sparing it a glance "Oh, yes! My bad! Th-Thank you again…!"

As the Virovirokun left, Spam couldn't help but have a growing beaming smile on his face. He was shaking, like he was nauseatingly anxious, but in a… good positive way? He immediately grabbed his phone, he had to tell the Addisons immediately.

"Just did my first sale !!!" He typed out in their group chat, followed by a photo of his hand holding bills he had received. To them, it must have been nothing special, but to him? This was a moment to remember.

Spam barely had a moment to put his phone down when it chimed in to notify him of new messages.

"oH SNAP, SPAMMY'S MOVInG UP IN THE WORLD ⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡"

"Congrats! I told you it was a matter of time until you'd get it. 💙"

Spam smiled at the two messages, not even expecting them to respond so quickly. Well, maybe just Flash, but that wasn't as surprising. Click and Boost were likely busy with work and Banner was perhaps on break?

Spam didn't mind, distracting himself by texting them for a bit. All he did was sell a mug, but somehow the feeling was exhilarating, filling him with purpose. He wanted to sell more, he needed to sell more, but the thought that he didn't know when he'd have his next client was suddenly very stressful.

"What is this feeling?? My whole body feels like it's shaking" He texted them, tapping his fingers on the table, he waited patiently as he noticed Boost coming online and soon starting to write. The orange Addison seemed to be typing for a while and Spam found himself zoning out for a bit until his phone pinged with a notification.

"Congrats! What you're feeling right now must be the Itch. Addisons are programmed to have a euphoric reaction when we make deals in order to encourage us to continue making more sales. It's perfectly natural and nothing to be concerned about. I hope that explains it."

Spam was about to respond but stopped when he saw Click come online and start typing as well.

"Yeah. It's a bit overwhelming the first few times, but you'll learn to tune it out."

He stopped for a bit then quickly typed again.

"Congrats btw"

Spam blinked in surprise and thanked them, tapping his fingers on the counter and scratching his arms. An itch. That felt way too appropriate of a name for it. The high was fading away and he almost immediately craved the feeling again. He didn't think he'd be dealing with these new feelings, but part of him was grateful that at least that part of him wasn't broken.

How did that microphone darkner know he'd make his first deal today anyway?

He recalled Mike's request for Spam to give him a call "when it happened", but how was he supposed to do that? He didn't have his number.

Should he just… pick up the phone? Turn the TV back on? Spam glanced back at the rotary phone but noticed the small business card from earlier. Spam had been too caught up in his own thoughts to give it any mind.

However, when he took the card in his hand to inspect it, he realized what it actually was. With a clean matte finish, the card displayed a minimalistic rendition of the two darkners. A blue TV monitor and a grey metal microphone, connected to each other through a vibrant green string.

The sight of the string couldn't help but give him a strange feeling, but it was quickly taken over when he put his focus on the writing underneath. A phone number. And underneath it were the words, "CLIENTS ONLY".

He felt unsettled by how things just seemed to have taken a liking to just spawning in his surroundings. First the phone, then the mug, and now this? Part of him felt like there was something extremely shady about it. He'd been told that nothing in life was going to come easy, especially when he already struggled as he did. But the itch… If Mike really had been the one to get that one client to come to his store… Perhaps he could send more his way?

Now that he knew what it was like, Spam wasn't sure he wanted to go back to rotting away in his store while hoping for anyone to come back. And this money certainly wouldn't be enough to pay rent either…

It was all just too good to be true, but really now.

Was he really in any position to decline?

Glancing at the card, Spam grabbed the rotary phone and began inserting the number. Pressing the phone to his head as it started to call them. They hadn't even picked up yet, and he already felt his hands starting to sweat again when he heard a clicking sound.

"Spammy doll! There you are! Thought I wasn't going to be hearing from ya again." He heard his voice boast and Spam recoiled again, but this time, he wasn't as nervous as before.

"H-Hi… Is this… Mike…?"

"What gave it away?" Spam heard him cackle from the other side "Of course it's Mike! How'd ya like our little demonstration?"

Spam looked surprised for a bit, he knew they were involved somehow, but it was unclear how much they had contributed. He had done that sale by himself, hadn't he? "H-Hey… Wait, so you br0ught that [Customer] to my store…? [How] ?"

"It was a bit of a group effort really! Host spotted them and then our manager pulled some strings to get 'em right into your shop!"

"O-Oh, that makes sense I guess…" Did it? Spam looked back at the TV in the corner, it was turned off but he couldn't help but feel nervous "Can you [See] me…?"

"Not at the moment, kid. Don't worry about that!" Mike laughed, but Spam still instinctively turned away from the screen, twirling his finger around the phone's cord.

"Alright… S-So wait, what did [ You ] do? " Spam looked around the store, if it was a group effort, it made sense that Mike too had contributed in some way. But how exactly?

"Me?!" He sounded offended yet a little confused "Ya didn't feel it? Ya looked so freaked out when it happened!" He laughed as he spoke but Spam was even more confused as to what this meant.

"H-Huh? What do you mean? The whole thing was [Anxiety-inducing] !"

"Spammy, I was literally talkin' through you! You didn't notice?" He sounded genuinely surprised by this and Spam felt the realization hit when he said this. Was this a microphone thing? Was that why he kept saying things without thinking? Why the words he said didn't always make sense coming from him?

"O-Oh… Hah… I… I d-didn't realize, I th-thought it was my [Programming] acting up…" Spam couldn't help but let out a nervous chuckle with this "I… I'm not sure I like you doing that…"

"Yeah, don't worry 'bout it. It's a temporary solution." He stated almost dismissively "We gotta work on that stutter of yours, and then you'll be able to do it on your own without my help."

"I g-guess so…?"

"Yes! Call your own shots! And talk louder too while at it, won't you? Let the whole world hear you! You're incredibly quiet, has anyone told you that?" Mike inquired, making Spam immediately overwhelmed by the intense line of questioning and how much the microphone seemed to talk.

"I… Y-Yeah I've been told that… M-My [Voice] glitches sometimes too… It scares the customers…" He confessed. He also hated how high-pitched he sounded, often causing him to be perceived as female as his voice was usually a dead giveaway.

"Glitchy voicebox? Have ya considered replacing it? Uh? Yeah, I'll get to the point." Spam heard him mutter to someone else.

"H-Huh? I-Is someone listening to this call? " Spam immediately got worried but Mike seemed unbothered.

"What? Oh, it's just Host, don't mind them. Anyway, you need a new voicebox?" Host... Spam remembered the green cord depicted on the card, as well as seeing it on the TV screen, the TV headed darkner… Were they actually attached to each other?

"Oh uhm… I can't really [Afford] one…" He spoke meekly as he walked around his counter, it would be nice not to have his voice constantly making his words sound weird… "But I don't really think that would get me more [Customer Satisfaction]…"

"Don't fret, kid! That gets me back to my original point. Do you want to work together with us?" The microphone sounded like he was grinning "Here's the deal. We help you get your life back on track, and in return, you make some recordings and calls on our show to let the audience see how you're doing."

Spam listened quietly, raising an eyebrow "...That's it…?"

"Whaddya mean 'That's it'?" He laughed "You'll be workin' hard, boy! You're not just going to become a successful Addison, you can be so much more, everything you ever wanted, the world right at your fingertips! And I'll be putting you to work to make that happen!"

"W-Wait, like… Famous…? A… A [Big Shot] ?" He asked, feeling uncertain but yet, he only heard laughter from the other end.

"Haha! Big Shot! Yes! I LOVE that! Write that down, it could be a slogan."

"S-Sure…!" Spam blushed and reached for his notebook, writing down "BIG SHOT" in big letters as he kept hearing the microphone prattle on in the phone.

"Yes, fame, money… But keep it humble and relatable, wontcha? You don't want to be too alienating, and you can't be forgettin' your roots now. That's very important!"

"A-And that would bring me [More] customers…?"

"More customers than you'd know what to do with! So whaddya say?"

Spam scratched his arm a bit in thought, it would be nice not to be constantly worried and wondering whether he'd have enough money to pay his bills. And to actually fulfil his purpose… But it also just sounded too good to be true, why him of all darkners?

"I… I'm not sure… I still don't understand why you'd [Pick me!]…"

"Oh, come on, Spammy doll! Don't be like that! Us little broken guys have to look out for each other, dontcha you think?"

"[Broken]…? W-Wait, you're…?"

"Don't worry about that." He stated "Listen now. Host and I will send some more folks your way. We're startin' small to see what you can handle. I'll guide ya with what words to say, but you will have to take those training wheels off eventually. We won't be helping you forever, y'hear?"

"Y-Yes!" Spam responded "Wh-What should I be doing then?"

"Clean up the place. Figure out what you'd like to do with your job. Like if you could sell whatever you'd like, what would that be? And we'll work from there. Our manager wants us to give you a more specific job he has planned, but we're not about that. If you're our client, then I'm makin' sure you're well taken care of."

"That's… That's actually very generous, Mike. B-But uhm… My siblings have already tried to help me, you know…? N-No one knows Addisons like Addisons!" He said with an awkward laugh "S-So if even they couldn't help me, then…"

"Whaaat?" Mike interrupted "Why're ya doubting me now? Come on, you've seen what we can do!"

"I guess so… I wouldn't mind being more [Popular!]... O-Or having customers in general…" Spam murmured, before looking in realization "W-Wait, but what's the catch…?"

"The catch?" The microphone sounded confused.

"Y-Yeah, y-you can't just [Give Stuff Away For Free] and expect nothing in return!"

"Spammy, I think that's your Addison programmin' speaking." Mike laughed "The 'catch', as ya called it, is that you can't slack off and you have to appear in our show! And if you stop working with us, then we'll be forced to drop you. But you don't really have a reason to do that, do ya? If there's an issue, we'll work things out, alright?"

"Uhm… A-Alright…" Spam looked timidly "I guess it's a [Deal!]... B-But if it turns out to be a scam, then I'm quitting!"

He sounded rather serious, but Mike just laughed when he said this, "Alright, kid! It's a deal! I'd shake your hand if I could but it's not exactly possible at the moment."

"Hah… Yeah, because you didn't… you d-didn't have any [Hands]…" Spam chuckled awkwardly.

"What? No! It's because I'm from another dark world!" Mike let out an offended laugh "I guess we have to work on your manners too! How rude!"

"O-Oh, I'm [So Sorry] !" Spam felt distressed by his tone "I d-didn't mean to upset you!"

"Hehe, I'm just teasing you, Spammy. You're fine." He chuckled in response "Either way, brainstorm those career plans. We're sendin' new folks to your shop soon so you might want to get ready for that!"

"O-Oh thank you…!"

"Don't mention it. Keep an eye on the phone in case we call. Or you can always call us on this number and we'll absolutely be on the other side!"

"S-Sure! Would my [Own] phone work…?" Spam asked, glancing at the smaller device "It's easier to carry [Around town] … And it has [Texting features] !"

"You're welcome to try, but unless yours can reach our world, then I'm afraid you're stuck with the rotary phone." He laughed a bit "Either way, before I go! I wantcha to know that we are both absolutely thrilled to be working with ya, Spammy! I have faith that you will do great things! I'll make sure of it!"

"Th-Thanks…! When you say both, y-you mean you and your [Friend], right? I-I'm sorry I [Forgot their Username?]…"

"Host? Yes! You probably won't be hearing much from them, but they're very excited about this! You'll see them on the show, alright? They can't exactly sign language at you from the phone. What?! It's true!"

"Oh, s-sure!" Spam looked around, noticing what seemed to be another darkner passing by his store and looking curiously "I [Think] someone's coming in the store… "

"Already?! Wait… Oh, so this is your way of tellin' me to shut up, isn't it? Wh-?! Don't you laugh at me! Spam! Host is the one who sent those customers your way so go take care of that."

"Oh! Y-Yes, I can do that…! Thank you!"

"And you have the number and you'll know to call and-"

"I think I [Got] it."

"And when you get more funds we can start improving your items and- "

"Y-Yeah! What [Else] ?"

"What else? No, that's it, really! Go get 'em, kid! Talk to ya soon!"

"A-Alright, bye!"

The phone finally clicked, rewarding him with silence. Spam felt himself deflate in relief, feeling like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. As helpful as he was, talking to Mike made him feel like he had just run a full marathon, and he made a mental note to thank the unseen TV darkner Host for having the mercy to spare him from an even longer conversation.

But despite everything, he couldn't help but feel excited. Maybe it was too good to be true, but so far the results seemed promising. He wasn't sure if he'd ever be able to reach celebrity status like the microphone seemed so confident in him reaching, but he was getting customers, and that was already more than anything he could ask for.

Putting on a big smile, Spam greeted the new darkners that visited his shop, even if his words weren't his own, his mouth knew just what to say. The words were training wheels after all, and Spam listened quietly to learn them. Could anyone else notice? No, he didn't have the time to think about that.

As he tended to his customers, his mind began to wander. If he could sell whatever he wanted… If he could do anything… What would he do? Was his dream job an option? It was a hard question to answer… His eyes fell back on his notebook, the words "Big Shot" facing him again.

He supposed it wouldn't hurt to start with the slogan…

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