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Chapter 2 * Lucky Contact

When Spam woke up a few hours later, restless and drowsy, he couldn't help but feel a subtle sense of dread weighing on him. The air felt heavy, but nothing seemed too far out of the ordinary.

He yawned, his back aching from sleeping so uncomfortably for so long. Maybe that was what was making him feel so terrible and tired all the time. Spam felt like he barely got any sleep, and as he got up and prepared some coffee to take on the day, his eyes couldn't help but fall back on the pitch-black phone that he had left unattended just a few hours earlier.

Fortunately, whoever it was that called him hadn't attempted to do it again, but the thing certainly had an uncanny aura to it. He quietly took a sip from his coffee, eyes transfixed on the phone as if daring it to start ringing again. He wondered if he could sell it… That way he could have an excuse to get rid of it and make it someone else's problem.

It would probably help his store if he started selling some real products anyway.

Washing up and getting dressed, Spam kicked some more of his junk back into the storage room and carried the heavy rotary phone to the storefront, placing it down on his counter as it clinked metallically. For a weird plugless phone, the thing was rather heavy, and with no cords to be seen, Spam thought of selling it as some sort of prop. There had to be someone who would want it.

He opened the door to this store, making sure the sign said "[ OPEN ]" and grabbing a pen and paper, he quickly wrote something down, placing it on the phone.

" $100 $25 [ 75% DISCOUNT ]"

He grinned proudly at this, turning on a small TV that was hanging from the corner of his ceiling to play some Cyber City morning news channel as he began to clean up the dust of his products yet again. From weird off-brand keychains to mugs with sayings that would probably only make sense to lightners, and even magnets, pencils and other useless items.

He could only dream of selling some real big deal stuff like the other Addisons. Banner had found an interest in shoes, Boost ran the clothing store where Spam used to model, Click had found his place selling specialized tea flavours, Flash sold electronics, and Spam…

He glanced back at the strange magnets, keychains and pencils… Well, he was still figuring himself out. He could never actually afford to work his dream job, so this was what he was stuck with.

In the background, the TV seemed to be playing some nonsense news about the latest doings of the Queen. Spam wasn't particularly interested, only paying half attention as some darkner was interviewing a Plugboy about the rising tensions between the walking cars and the rest of the Cyber City inhabitants. Boring.

Spam just waited for the segment to be over so it could get to Cyber City's Funniest Home Videos. At least that always got a laugh out of him and kept him distracted enough from the monotonous task that was cleaning up an empty store while knowing how unlikely it was that someone would actually drop by and visit.

He shook off this thought, focusing back on the news, but the sound of the TV suddenly began to stutter, and the static was making the images on the screen just completely incomprehensible. Spam sighed in annoyance. Not this again.

He grabbed his broom, tapping the TV until it went back to normal. But rather than snapping back into the news channel, the static just completely took over and Spam looked distraught. Seriously? Was his TV broken now? Just like that?

He tapped it again, cleaning off some cobwebs in the back and cursing himself for letting the dust pile up for so long. Great, this was just what he neede—

RIIIIIIIING

Spam let out a loud shriek in surprise when the rotary phone suddenly started ringing again, nearly scaring the living daylights out of him. He almost dropped the broom on himself and quickly put it away, clenching his teeth as he grabbed the phone and yelled into the receiver.

"WHAT?! WHO IS THIS?! HELLO?!"

No response. He was shaking, angry at how the stupid thing had managed to scare him so much while he had his guard down.

Behind him, he heard the screen suddenly snap back to normal, but rather than the news, it was now broadcasting some channel he had never seen before.

"Well well, we got a feisty one today, folks!" Said the presenter, an energetic jingle playing as the laugh track of the audience resonated in the store "But just like we promised. Today, we make contact."

Spam tensed up, looking back at the screen. It looked to be some kind of what he assumed to be a game show of sorts. The presenter was a robotic darkner he had never seen before, they were tall and lanky, armless and with a pair of white floating hands, one of which was holding a silver microphone that connected to their chest. Their body had buttons similar to that of Spam's own TV remote and although their legs were out of sight, Spam could still tell that they easily towered over everyone.

However, the darkner's most prominent feature had to be the fact that they had a blue TV monitor for a head. Their screen was filled with soft grey static, while their wide static grin was filled with brightly coloured vertical bars curved in such a way that it made the strange darkner appear to have fangs.

Spam was at a loss for words, being so entranced by the bizarre darkner's appearance and speeches that he had forgotten the phone in his hands.

"Seems our lucky contact is havin' a lil bit of stage fright! How 'bout we give her some encouragement, folks?" They said, staring right at the camera, the screen had no eyes and their mouth did not move when they spoke. But that was when Spam took notice of the wide pink and yellow eyes and grin on none other than the silver microphone itself, peering right into him as the TV darkner took a phone to the microphone's head.

"H e l l o S p a m ." The menacing voice on the receiver suddenly spoke and Spam squeaked in surprise, feeling his blood run cold."No need to be shy now! We know you're watching."

What. The. Hell.

Spam was shaking, the overwhelming nausea was taking over again and he felt like he was going to throw up. The darkner on the screen still waited for his response, but his expression dropped in surprise as he stared at the phone again.

"Oh. ...It seems our lovely other-worldly contact has hung up on us." The microphone stated as Spam backed himself against the wall, feeling too scared to approach the TV and turn it off to forget any of this had happened.

"Whaddya say, folks? Should we call again? Let's do a poll. And our lovely viewers at home are welcome to participate!"

Spam let himself fall, hugging his knees and shaking as he watched as some phone number appeared on the screen, followed by the options to text "YES" or "NO" to influence the outcome.

"And for the folks who are just now tuning in for this very special episode, today we are makin' contact with another Dark World! Somethin' which no darkner has ever attempted, let alone succeeded in. And we promise it ain't a hoax."

Was this seriously happening?! Why him? Why did he get to receive the cursed phone?! Maybe it was a coincidence. Yes, of course! Maybe the voice on the phone wasn't the same one from the show presenter!

"And a recap on who our lucky contact is… Straight from Cyber City and right into your hearts, we've discovered Spam Addison! Or Spam the Addison? Who knows! From a colourful race of seller darkners, known as, you guessed it, the Addisons. Unfortunately, she was created with a defect which makes it so she's unable to sell much of anything, preventing her from fulfilling her whole life's purpose!"

She. Her. She. Her. Spam felt like he wanted to pull his hair out as this stranger was spewing his surface-level understanding of his life story for everyone to watch. It made him furious to listen.

"But as we often do in our show, with our influence, we can help her get back on her- Oh? Oh, Spammy doll, have ya come back to us?"

Spam froze, not expecting the two darkners to realize he had picked the phone up again. He swallowed in dry, his hands sweating as he cleared his throat, trying to deepen his voice to the best of his ability.

"Uhm… I-It's… I'm a…" He took a deep breath "I'm a [Him], a-actually…" He stuttered on the phone, the microphone grinning back at him and the TV darkner offered a thumbs up while what Spam assumed to be its grin, widened.

"Oh dear, I'm sorry, Mr Spam Addison! This is embarrassing, our files must be outdated! Who's in charge of that?!" The microphone cackled, but Spam was anxious, he had never said that out loud, he felt ridiculous outing himself like that, what if the Addisons were also watching this channel?! He clung to the phone harder, eyes transfixed on the screen.

"Now ya might not know who I am. Can you imagine that, folks?" The laughter played again as he cackled at an unseen audience "But here at The Cable, I am known as Mike, and this here beside me is Host, my ever so wonderful partner." The microphone stated proudly as a Host appeared to… blush? Followed by some hand sign he didn't understand. "And in our show, we grab fellow darkners down on their luck and give them the push needed to achieve their wildest dreams!"

The audience aww'ed and Spam looked down at himself. He must have been doing really poorly if inhabitants from The Cable, wherever that was, were tuning in to watch him be helped by this self-aggrandizing microphone. "But…"

"Now I know what you're thinkin'," Mike interrupted him "Even the audience knows what you're thinkin'! "Why me?" Ya ponder?" He grinned "Well, it's none other than fate itself which has chosen you to do great things. I see great potential in ya, boy! That spark in your eye, the fire in your chest, you know you were meant for greatness. But of course, you're held back by your condition."

"I-I know b-but… I don't mind…" Spam lied, more to himself than to the hosts, was he finally allowed to talk? "...I just have to [ Work Harder ] than most… B-But I'm sure things will work out eventually! Th-That's what my siblings told me!" He spoke with a hopeful smile, cueing another aww from the audience.

However, the awws turned into laughter as Mike began to cackle as well "Oh, he's adorable. Ain't he, folks? Spammy doll, don'tcha think it's strange how they always held ya back? Host here is tellin' me that Addisons are an extremely competitive species. Ya think they would allow you to succeed knowing how much you'd outshine them?"

Spam tensed up with this, such a thought had never even occurred to him, he had heard of stories of Addisons sabotaging each other just to get one deal, but wasn't that why they gathered in packs? To protect each other?

"Not really, they've always been [Support Group]… They're not like [ That ]…" Spam mumbled, but he couldn't help but consider the microphone's words. He was aware of his own naivety, but it wasn't like his siblings were actively trying to hinder him by abusing that, was it?

He hated to even entertain the idea.

"S-So you want to [ Help me ]…?" He looked dubiously, upset at how much he kept recoiling on himself "Why should I believe this is real?"

"You're the one holding the underpriced phone, kid. You tell me." The microphone grinned, laughing as Host pulled up a whiteboard with "BAD DEAL " written in bold blue letters.

Spam blushed with this, quickly grabbing the price tag he put on the rotary phone and crumpling it up to throw it into the trash.

"But since you're in need of some convincin', how about we provide ya with a demonstration? If it is to your liking, then I'm sure we can work together. Of course, ya should be aware that you're always free to decline, but are ya really in any position to do that?"

Spam couldn't help but feel doubtful. What could these darkners even offer him when they lived in an entirely different dark world? Traveling or sending letters wasn't exactly an option, but then again, receiving this TV signal was an anomaly in itself. Unless…? Oh… Of course, it all made sense now…

"This is a [ Pranking Video ], isn't it?" He stated bluntly, of course, the whole thing was staged. The phone, the ridiculous story of darkners from The Cable, there had to be a camera hidden in his store somewhere.

"Hard to believe it, ain't it? But I can assure ya this is very real! Tell me, little Addison, whaddya want the most in this whole wide world?"

Spam thought for a bit with this question. To have dreams would be to set himself up for disappointment. But he'd be lying if he said he didn't indulge in a bit of wishful thinking every once in a while. Though lately, it seemed that his dreams were even more out of reach than usual.

"I… I'd like to make my first [ Deal ] ! Sell something… Anything, really…" He rubbed his arm in shame, the fact that he dreamed of doing the bare minimum of what was expected from any Addison made him want to recoil again, but he stood his ground.

"Then consider it done. Today, you'll make your first deal. And when that happens, I want you to [Call Me]." Mike grinned widely, causing Spam to shiver slightly.

His words were genuine, so why did such an unsettling aura surround the two darkners? Perhaps it was the static that seemed to be growing all over his TV screen?

"H-How am I supposed to do that…?" Spam asked, but noticed the TV-headed darkner rub their head with a slightly dizzy expression.

"I'll be there to help ya, Spammy Doll! You'll know it when it happens." He spoke between the static which muffled his words, looking up at Host whose screen had filled with static "Until then, my friend."

Spam stared frozen at his TV which became covered in static once again until it suddenly snapped back to its previous channel, the segment of Cyber City's Funniest Home videos playing normally as if nothing had happened.

Spam was shaking. What… What was all that? The phone line had gone dead and Spam noticed how sweaty his hands were from gripping the phone so hard. Why did everything feel like a dream even though it had literally just happened? He placed the phone back and felt completely frozen in place.

And how was he supposed to move on with his day after all that? The microphone said he'd be there to help him make his first sale, but that entire notion just felt ridiculous to him. Maybe this was a prank.

He grabbed his own mobile phone, looking at the group chat he had with the Addisons. His fingers hovered over the keyboard, unsure how to even phrase himself.

Did anyone see the news today?

Did you guys see that weird TV show?

You haven't all been secretly lying to me, have you?

But in the end, he decided not to text them.

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