Klieg was quiet, the bedroom was silent with a heavy atmosphere, and he felt almost as if catatonic. His mind was filled with restless thoughts but scattered enough that he drew a blank whenever trying to focus on any of them. He just couldn't believe it...

He felt a warm shift on his chest as Rouxls silently adjusted his body, Klieg's lower set of arms holding his waist close to him, while the other idly caressed the blue darkner's face and hair which had been resting on him.

They had been like that for what felt like hours, the crying had quieted down after a while, and Klieg had assumed that Rouxls had fallen asleep in his arms. But the way the card darkner quietly sighed with his silk-like hair falling over his eyes assured him that his partner was very much still awake. How could either of them sleep after that?

Klieg hadn't even noticed the way his hands had been trembling until he felt Rouxls hold them, the touch steadying him. Klieg wanted to be strong for him, he had to. Instead, he could only hope that the warmth of his light could provide some form of comfort.

After the week they had had, Klieg wanted nothing but to be a beacon of hope and strength for Rouxls, but more and more, he found himself flickering, the guilt consuming him.

The past year had been a rollercoaster of emotions, they were practically living together at this point, they even got engaged, and he supposed that it was only a matter of time until something happened.

Romantic emotions were often awkward, but intimacy always came so naturally to them that Rouxls found himself staying over more and more often. They had their creative endeavors to work on after all, and whether Rouxls was a boyfriend, a best friend with benefits or anything else, it just wasn't a label that Klieg was interested in distinguishing.

The light darkner held his partner tighter, whatever they were, they were committed, that was for sure.

Rouxls had never once challenged what to label their relationship, the question only ever popping up months later when the card darkner arrived with an enthusiastic grin, delivering important news.

Klieg had, according to his muse's eloquent words, "Knockedth the lights outeth him". Leading to much confusion and a rather prolonged heated discussion about idioms and metaphors, until Rouxls finally decided to clarify in his disastrous attempt at a light pun that he hadn't been "knocked out". He had been "knocked up".

A sigh of relief washed over Klieg upon finding out that he wasn't being accused of physical abuse, before the realization of the alternative settled in. Knocked UP? As in Knocked Up pregnant?! But???? How?!

Klieg was a robotic darkner, while Rouxls was very much... organic? Or at least his own approximation of it? Could the two really mesh? It wasn't like they hadn't tried to be safe, though Klieg supposed that in his body's odd anatomy, a situation like that was twice as difficult to avoid.

But... a baby...? He couldn't help but become overwhelmed by doubt. The topic had never even crossed his mind, though he had never even pictured himself partnering, let alone raising a family. Sure he was together with Rouxls, sure he was the most important being to him and Klieg would bring down the very sun to scorch whoever dared to bring him harm, and Sure they had done their fair share of babysitting to various kid darkners who had been drawn to them for some unknown reason.

One of the said darkners was Lancer, who had baptized Klieg as "Even Lesserer Dad", "Lamp Dad", "Dadirector" and other names of a similar... calibre. Though... naturally this was definitely only due to his association with Rouxls... obviously the small blue boy couldn't reasonably regard someone as incompetent as Klieg as being anything remotely close to a parental figure... Right...? Then again, Rouxls was the Original Lesser Father to begin with, so it wasn't like the bar was all that high-

The way Rouxls so nonchalantly brought the announcement had made it seem like this was a topic that the two had discussed many times, which wasn't the case at all! As much as Klieg earnestly admired the duke's ability to improvise and adjust to the moment, maybe... Improvising with a life-long responsibility like this just wasn't the way to go!

"Oh, he got Himself pregnant? By himself? It takes two to tango, hun." He recalled Mittens' scolding. Klieg was getting cold feet and the cat darkner wasn't about to be friends with a deadbeat. Mittens had been baptized "Auntie Mitts" by Lancer, raising much confusion from the light darkner as that woman was so much more of a competent mom figure than any of Lancer's collective dads combined.

Admittedly, Klieg wasn't always the most attentive, or some hints would go right over his head without him realizing. Had he missed any signs that his partner wanted children? Did he himself want children?

He'd recall a softer side to Rouxls, oddly gentle and nurturing when tending to Lancer. The loud flashiness and faux disregard for the boy melted away as he'd hold the sleepy blue darkner and tuck him to bed with a touch as delicate as the white strings of hair that would fall over his face, light as cobwebs.

And he'd recall thinking Rouxls would be a good parent, but a child between the two of them had never even occurred to him as a possibility to be considered. When he first heard that they were having a baby, Klieg's immediate reaction was not one of excitement, but one of dread and horror at the imagined biomechanical amalgamation that could be their offspring.

At the time, Rouxls took notice of Klieg's flickering lights and the way he wordlessly froze in place, causing the card darkner to reach for Klieg's trembling hands, holding them firmly. Thoughts ran through the spotlight's head, but when he glanced at Rouxls, he was surprised to find a similarly uncertain look. His cracked smile breaking ever so slightly before he forced a big grin.

Rouxls wasn't stupid, he was well aware of the gravity of his statement, playing it up as a knocked-up joke despite being all too aware that Klieg wasn't alone in his fear of a biomechanical amalgamation baby.

Instead, Rouxls was more surprised that his body was still capable of carrying a child, rather than the fact that he and his partner had tangoed one too many times with little concern for consequences, and only now had something decided to happen.

Klieg couldn't help but wallow in the guilt of his negative feelings towards the situation. As if it wasn't enough that he was incompetent at romance, why couldn't he get himself to replicate his partner's excitement?

"It... 'tis myself who is to blameth... Is it not?" Rouxls murmured in Klieg's arms, getting the spotlight to abruptly leave his train of thought.

"No...!" Klieg immediately responded, but lowered his volume in an attempt to sound soothing, "It's n-not... It's no one's fault..." He continued, partly trying to ease his own mind.

Instead, he felt Rouxls lift his head to look at him, his droopy light blue eyes looked utterly exhausted. He had almost started to melt into his partner's body, and Klieg watched as the card darkner's melting hands returned to their original shape, as if it took actual effort for him to literally keep himself together.

"Th-These things happen a-and..." Klieg stumbled to find words that could be regarded as comforting "I-It... Th-They..."

"Thoust lights are flickering..." Rouxls brought a hand to his face, the heat of the light making his fingers ever so slightly melt together. Klieg couldn't bring himself to respond and just closed his eye, shaking his head in silence.

"D-Don't worry about me..." He strained, feeling Rouxls affectionately embrace him once more, his melting body fusing them together once more.

"Speak thine mind, my light..." Rouxls quietly murmured, closing his eyes "T'was not meant to be..."

"I... I keep feeling that... my fear... my hesitation... Could it have...? Did... did fate...? Take them...? Like a punishment...? Because of... me...?" Klieg stumbled on his words, his attempts at trying to rationalize the situation were fruitless. He noticed Rouxls kept his eyes closed, but listened attentively.

"I too was afraid... Thou was... not aloneth in thine doubt..." He slowly opened his eyes "We both know this..."

Klieg was silent but nodded. Of course he knew. Once the initial shock of the announcement wore off, Rouxls had come to reveal how nervous he truly was. Excited but nervous, and through their mutual apprehension, Klieg had found the strength to accept that... the two of them were going to be fathers.

Out of everything the two of them had made together, this would have been their greatest work yet. Their magnum opus, their masterpiece. But yet, the preparations, the picking of the name, all the plans and excited over-the-top announcements they'd done to their friends... it all seemed like a distant bittersweet memory.

He recalled the look of the doctor who first saw them, a look of doubt and silent judgement. The two's differing... well, everything, had made the pregnancy a near-impossible oddity. And with this, the doctor warned of the risks of a miscarriage.

Flesh and machine weren't supposed to mesh like that.

Yet, such warnings were quickly disregarded for months. They were Klieg and Rouxls after all. Defying the odds, going ahead and beyond and putting on a spectacle that would awe and mesmerize was their greatest specialty.

Such tragedies happened, but not to them. Never to them. It wasn't right. It didn't make sense-

"I have unfortunate news..." Klieg recalled the Ambyulance's exact words to the two of them, burned into his mind, looping over and over in his head.

...Rouxls had miscarried.

Something about a sudden death, perhaps something forming wrong in the womb, metal where it didn't belong, flesh where it wasn't meant to be— Klieg recalled his mind blacking out on the explanation, his heart dropping as he focused his gaze on Rouxls who looked back at him, a petrified expression that also looked... guilty?

To keep it together in a time like this, when it hadn't even set in that the plans they had so lovingly made throughout the past months were just... Gone.

Rouxls was the first one to break, denial setting in, cERTAINLY this just HAD to be a joke. He could do this, his body could handle it, there had to be something they could do!

But the doctor simply responded with silence. While a doctor could cure many ailments, there was no such thing as a cure for death. The Permanent kind.

"Trulyeth, I... I thought that... I could do it..." Rouxls murmured in his partner's arms, as if recalling the exact memory that Klieg was painfully playing in his head.

"Roux..." Klieg spoke, embracing him affectionately, feeling Rouxls tear up once more, swallowing sadly.

"I'm sorry..." The card darkner croaked, lacking the energy to continue weeping, bringing his hand to his face and feeling it stick together. Losing what little composure his ink wax body could muster to keep itself together, Rouxls choked on a sob, burying his head on his partner's chest, feeling Klieg's trembling but solid hand gently caressing the back of his head.

Rouxls felt he could disappear into a puddle of melted wax with the shame he felt. Of course his shifting body wasn't ready for a task as demanding as a pregnancy. He just hadn't the heart to tell Klieg what the doctor had told him during the final procedure. How his partner would grow to loathe him if he knew.

Klieg just kept his head low, his four arms doing their best to hold Rouxls's melting form together, even if he felt him slipping through his fingers, the light darkner was dedicated to staying firm "Roux... P-Please..." He let out "I... I cannot lose you as well..." He strained.

Rouxls recalled how he hadn't yet seen Klieg cry, but even then, his grief clung to his every word, much like Rouxls' skin clung to his body.

"Th-Thou must forgiveth me..." Rouxls wept, trying to stabilize his body "Thou has not wept... Doth thou loathe me this much...? Is it anger thou feels...?"

Klieg trembled, his arms holding him tighter "No..." He choked "I could never... I... I'm your lighthouse... Remember...?"

"A-And in the darkest of storms, thou shall find me..." Rouxls continued, just how could he forget their vows?

"Y-Yes..." Klieg continued, feeling Rouxls' form stabilizing ever so slightly in his grasp.

"I... I beg thine forgiveness... Th-There is somethinge I must tell thee..." Rouxls struggled to speak, but Klieg shook his head.

"Roux... I need you to rest... You just returned from the hospital..." The spotlight worriedly spoke, if he felt exhausted, he could only imagine what Rouxls was feeling.

Back at the hospital, forced to sit in the waiting room, Klieg was thankful that his friend Mittens had accompanied them at such a hard time.

And while they waited for the procedure to be done, Klieg could do nothing but sob inconsolably into his friend's arms as she tried her best to comfort him. She had always been the first to know, after all. He felt like his world was crumbling, and every second that he waited for Rouxls to be back was like torture.

Eventually, the card darkner returned, his expression one of exhaustion and a distant shock, looking as if through things with a vacant catatonic stare. He took a few seconds to react as Klieg ran to embrace him, his vacant expression morphing to one of realization, hiding his face on his partner's shoulder as he began to weep.

It had been hours, and yet, each other's warmth remained to be the only thing to bring them comfort. And as such, Klieg felt Rouxls' embrace tighten despite his request that the duke get some rest.

"I cannot rest until thou knows... But I beg of thee... Thou must forgiveth me..." Rouxls continued, feeling Klieg's reassuring touch. After what the doctor told him during the procedure, Rouxls felt like once Klieg knew the truth, he'd never be able to forgive him.

"It is not your fault, you do not have to ask for forgiveness..." Klieg gently headbutt him "Thou should know I adore you..."

Rouxls flushed, leaning towards the affectionate gesture as he took a deep breath, letting out a sigh "...Thou knows... How I changed my form to achieveth my desired body, yes...?" He asked as he felt Klieg silently nod in response.

"Of course... And you were still capable of carrying..."

Rouxls swallowed in dry as he heard this "The doctor... had said otherwise..."

There was silence for a few seconds, the words sinking in even if their meaning remained unclear. "I... I do not understand..." Klieg muttered, "Are you saying you were infertile...?"

"No... Not quite..." Rouxls continued, his gaze lowered in shame "I... I changeth my body... And when I did, unknowingly, it was made unreliable to carrye a pregnancy to term..."

Klieg did not respond, processing the revelation, and with his lack of response, Rouxls held on tighter, his breath shaky.

"P-Please... Please forgive me... I... I took the life of our child... It is I who is to blameth..." Grief clung to Rouxls' every word, feeling little relief from letting out the revelation that had been haunting him for so long.

Much to his surprise, Klieg held him back, arms shaking, but there was a different energy to his posture.

"N-No..." The light darkner began, a hint of anger following his voice "You... You didn't kill them... The doctors... The... Everyone there... They knew... Didn't they...?" He inquired, getting a quiet nod from Rouxls "They knew... Y-Yet, they only spoke of them being a hybrid... I..." Klieg choked on his words "Th-They didn't help prevent this..." He lost track of his words, becoming overwhelmed.

"Watch thine flickering, my light..." Rouxls mourned, feeling Klieg break into sobs.

"He died... He... He died for nothing...! It's the doctor's fault!" Klieg bitterly exclaimed, his voice becoming weak "Our... Our Indie..." His voice cracked and he wept, feeling Rouxls embracing him as an attempt at comfort, the name they had planned to give to their now-lost child leaving a knot in his stomach.

Klieg was actively trying to keep himself from weeping, but that only brought him more pain as Rouxls quietly soothed him, murmuring apologies, his eyes sitting on the empty crib, drowning in the realization that it was never going to be filled, and their small bundle of joy was simply not meant to be.