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Chapter 2

Rouxls slowly opened his eyes. The room was still dark, but as he took notice of the light outside, he realized that morning had come.

What window was that? He had barely registered his surroundings, sighing contently as he recalled the odd dream he had had last night. Who knew Klieg could grab him like that? How strange... But yet, so fun.

Closing his eyes, Rouxls shifted in bed, feeling a presence beside him, who also shifted ever so slightly in response. Rouxls didn't recall the last time he had felt this relaxed, until it suddenly dawned on him and he opened his eyes, confirming that he hadn't just dreamed of last night's events.

Beside him, Klieg had been resting peacefully, the lights on his arms looking dim, slowly phasing in and out as if to follow a sense of breathing. Looking at him and then down at his body, Rouxls realized that in their nakedness, the two of them had hooked up while feeling a bit drunk on lust. No wonder his legs felt sore.

But Rouxls couldn't quite point out what he was feeling at that moment, his heart was feeling giddy and at ease and he hadn't slept this well in a long time, but in the back of his mind, he felt a panic creeping in about the whole situation, begging him to run away before one of them caught feelings.

But they had talked about that, hadn't they? Would Klieg honour their agreement to be committed partners in crime with no romantic expectations? That was their deal, right? To be Director and Muse?

Rouxls flushed, reaching for one of his partner's hands and holding it gently to not disturb his sleep. Rouxls would be lying if he said he hadn't enjoyed himself last night, and he wouldn't be opposed to something like this becoming a part of their routine.

But the uncertainty he felt when looking at his slumbering partner just left him paralyzed. Why did he feel manipulative when the two of them had wanted this?

Rouxls just gently rubbed his thumb on the back of Klieg's hand, letting go of it, he didn't deserve this... He didn't deserve him.

Instead, the card darkner got up and quickly started to get dressed, his chest ached as he did, and the more he thought about this, the worse he felt.

He told himself that Klieg would soon enough realize that Rouxls still was the same opportunistic man he had been when they first met. And loveless or not, the Light Darkner had kept a tender heart that wouldn't have taken it lightly if Rouxls were to betray him again.

Rouxls wouldn't reciprocate romantic feelings, and although he couldn't recall Klieg ever uttering an "I love you" towards him, Rouxls knew that if he ever did, he'd be unable to say it back.

Was it really self-sabotage if sooner or later Rouxls would figure out a way to mess this up as well? Klieg had been his closest friend for the longest time and no one had ever made him feel so adored and cared for. So his chest ached, and Rouxls knew he shouldn't have let himself become so close, for he was now paying the price.

Finishing getting dressed, Rouxls walked to the door, hesitating for a moment, he looked back at his slumbering partner one last time, muttering an apology before leaving without any other word.

---

Klieg woke up hours later, drowsy and slowly opening his eye to look out the window. Feeling a gentle breeze coming through the door which had been left ajar. He shivered with the cold, brightening his lights to heat himself up. Had his room always been this cold?

Stretching himself, he sleepily looked at his clock, grumbling when he realized he had slept all morning. But he was more surprised he still hadn't heard from Rouxls, who often took his morning bird "getting the worm" role rather seriously and oftentimes literally.

Wait... Rouxls...

Klieg suddenly froze as the memories from last night came flooding back to him. Did he... Did they...? Sitting up, Klieg noticed how his clothes had stayed on the floor, but Rouxls' were nowhere to be seen.

Finding the space beside his bed to be empty, Klieg felt his heart sinking. Quickly rushing to his door and calling out his friend's name, getting a deafening silence in response.

His lights flickered with anxiety, and as he walked back and sat on his bed. The knot in his throat was back as he let himself fall to his side, covering his face as he took deep breaths for a while.

Rouxls was gone without as much as even saying a sleepy goodbye. This wasn't like him at all, to leave without fanfare or as much as even a calling card? The Light Darkner's anxiety was quick to take over, nerves creeping in as the worst possible scenarios played on his mind.

How could Klieg let himself believe that he was worthy of having such an intimate bond? Had he been too much of a disappointment last night? Was his anxiety too much? Was he too desperate? Too intense? Should he have kept his feelings to himself?

Klieg was surprised to find himself starting to weep, but he had never opened himself up in this way before. He was already so bad at this, no wonder he had been alone all his life. Had there been a misunderstanding? Had Rouxls been put off by the idea of them having a strong platonic bond with sex on the side?

Klieg wasn't one to ever speak about his urges, but maybe his body had spoken louder than he ever could and Rouxls had come to see him for the perverted freak he truly was.

A lustful pervert covering himself in a facade of artistic integrity as if it justified who he truly was. Gross and disgusting. And Rouxls must have finally realized this as well and wanted nothing to do with it.

Shameful. All Klieg could feel was a heavy feeling of shame, covering himself as if to hide away from the world. What if Rouxls told everyone about what they did? How they'd shun him... He simply couldn't bear the thought, his chest was aching, a pain heavy like a knot on his throat.

Maybe he was overreacting a bit, he thought. Maybe an emergency had come up? Maybe he had just gone out and they'd meet up later? Klieg didn't know, and the shame he felt was just so much that he'd be surprised if he'd ever leave from under the covers ever again.

---

Rouxls simply lay on his side, having made his way to his small room in Ralsei's castle earlier that morning. He had hoped to just be able to sleep off the stress and forget about everything, but he had grown far too attached to his friend, and his heart wouldn't just allow him to forsake him so easily.

Rouxls had regretted leaving the moment he got up, but he figured it was better to be in pain now than to let things escalate. He debated whether he had just felt opposed to allowing himself to feel good, and Klieg had always been good at making him feel wanted and wonderful, most times despite Rouxls's confusion at the Light Darkner's perception of him.

So why was Rouxls afraid to trust him? Why did he feel a lurking fear that if he kept letting his guard down when with Klieg, he could grow to regret it? Did he fear comeuppance for his past actions?

Even after everything, Rouxls still expected his purpose to be taken from him, but yet, he also dreaded it all the same if romantic feelings were to get involved.

The Blue Darkner sighed, figuring he probably owed Klieg an apology for getting cold feet. But just how could he trust the Light Darkner not to catch feelings when his immense passion had been what drew Rouxls to him in the first place?

How could Klieg claim that his heart didn't glow that way, when all Rouxls saw when looking at him was how brightly it beat? Rouxls sighed longingly, fixating on his fingers sticking together when he moved them.

And how could he go ahead and claim to know others when he barely understood who he was. Klieg would probably make some artsy comparison with an unstable body reflecting an unstable self. Or perhaps Rouxls was simply projecting his own thoughts on his friend who'd find inspiration in the most bizarre of concepts.

Rouxls sighed, turning on his bed, he did sleep with him, in an expression of intimacy neither of them had been used to feeling. It would be hard to pretend nothing had happened if they were to see each other again.

How embarrassing that Rouxls still missed him this much, if Klieg had noticed his absence, he was likely distraught... or livid... or worst of all... both.

However, he would usually reserve that combination of emotions for especially bad films, which Klieg would earnestly describe as being "egregiously gauche and an insulting affront to the art form".

Something along those words, Rouxls mused.

Eventually, he sat up and looked through his room, searching for his knitting supplies. Rouxls figured that the distraction could help him not think too much about his guilt. But as he searched in their usual spot, his expression turned to an awkward frown as the realization settled.

He had left them at Klieg's place, hadn't he?

Rouxls groaned with this. He spent so much time over that he had begun to just casually bring his belongings with him and leave them around. Not out of any sense of entitlement to his friend's space, Rouxls just found himself too ditzy and at times careless to notice.

He was used to feeling like he was taking up space wherever he went, but this was more often something he embraced rather than shunned himself for. But with the entire situation, he couldn't help but feel just the slightest hint of embarrassment.

With this, it seemed his calligraphy materials and vermin guidebooks had also been carelessly brought over and let hang around. It wasn't his fault that the two of them got so enthusiastic sharing interests.

Rouxls seldom found someone who shared the same joy in these things as he did. But even so, he should probably go get his things back... Somehow.

But he wasn't quite ready to confront Klieg just yet, if anything, he felt way too flustered after their last interaction, and knew the Light Darkner would definitely notice and misinterpret his intentions!

No! He had to be civil about this. Classy, even. He needed to get his things back somehow, but with Klieg in the way, it proved challenging.

Naturally, special measures had to be taken.

---

4:00AM

Rouxls stood by the door of his friend's house, coming to realize that his plan (Or lack thereof) was likely not his best work.

Planning ahead wasn't exactly his strength, he was the Rules guy after all, and if his intuition was correct, the Directions guy was likely sleeping right now.

...Or maybe he was in the middle of an inspiration frenzy due to how horribly heartbroken he was by Rouxls' selfish cruelty.

The blue darkner frowned at this thought, shaking his head and looking through the window to see everything dark on the inside. Quietly reaching for the door, Rouxls attempted to open it, but predictably, it didn't budge.

...Oh well. Too bad. Seems he had exhausted all his options and it was time to count his losses. He always was a coward, after all.

Too cowardly to stay, too cowardly to let go. He was too cowardly to give in and knock on the door, but he was also too cowardly to accept that he could never see Klieg again if he went through with this.

Taking a deep breath, he gathered his thoughts, focusing on trying to get in some other way. Sure teleportation was an option, but he wasn't quite capable of controlling the loud bright fanfare that happened whenever it took place. At that rate, not only Klieg would hear him but so would the entire neighborhood.

Pacing for a bit, Rouxls decided to reach for one of the windows that led to the living room. Looking inside, the darkness reassured him that there was no one there, and taking a deep breath, he carefully pressed his fingers on the window, feeling his gut drop as the window easily clicked open.

With the silence, the soft click felt horribly loud, causing Rouxls to freeze for a few seconds, waiting to see if something were to happen. By nature, Klieg was incredibly easy to spot in the dark, he couldn't hide even if he tried.

And as such, Rouxls felt like his heart was on his stomach, expecting the Light Darkner to show up at any second.

If he was quiet enough, he could grab his things and leave without ever being spotted, and once he felt just safe enough, he decided to climb in through the window.

His eyes tried adjusting to the darkness, but with his nerves, his fingers had begun to melt together, and as he had planted his foot on the bottom of the window, his grip failed him when his melting hands couldn't handle the weight he was putting on them, causing him to suddenly slip and fall inside with a loud yelp and a crash.

Having a soft body only protected him so much from bruises, his knees and jaw taking the biggest hit as he painfully rubbed them, whining quietly.

He crawled behind a chair out of sight, still wincing in pain, but looking around in a panic, expecting to be found out any second now. There was no way Klieg hadn't heard that.

Luckily for Rouxls, he had landed on a pile of his own insect guidebooks, so that at least saved him the work of looking for those.

Picking one up to clean it, he saw a bookmark he hadn't left there, opening on a page that spoke about fireflies. He couldn't help but feel a bittersweet smile come to his face, recalling when he first told his friend that he wasn't the only living being out there that was capable of glowing. He still remembered that excited flickering on his face when he first saw them.

Rouxls closed the book, feeling his grief return as he once more began dwelling on just how awful he felt. Much like a worm, he just wished to bury himself in the dirt at this point.

. . .

Seriously, there was no way Klieg didn't hear him slip and fall like a moron just a few seconds ago , the Light Darkner had to be home! As much as Rouxls dreaded seeing him, Not seeing him was just as concerning.

Looking over from his hiding spot, Rouxls glanced in the direction towards his friend's room, his eyes falling on the door which had been left ajar, and from the darkness inside, the subtlest hint of a yellow glow.

Seems he was home, after all.

As he slowly got up, Rouxls winced in pain from his fall, trying to look for his things in the dark with little success. It was made harder when he found himself constantly looking back at the room to see if there was movement.

Without giving it much thought, Rouxls quietly stumbled closer to it. His heart felt like it was jumping out of his chest, while the nausea made him feel like he was going to throw up. As he reached the door, Rouxls took a deep breath and slowly peeked in.

Inside, he caught a glimpse of the room, all dark, except for the yellow glow from a familiar figure, currently sitting in bed, with arms and legs crossed.

Rouxls froze when he saw Klieg squinting, no... Glaring right at him. He was awake, he was very much awake. Likely having been woken up by Rouxls crashing through his window, or maybe he hadn't slept at all as it was suggested by the countless amounts of writing paper the Light Darkner had once more filled his bed with.

Rouxls felt at a loss for words, Klieg's usual warm demeanour was gone, replaced by a sharp glare, further accentuated by the quiet electric buzz of his light. He didn't speak a word, and Rouxls couldn't tell whether he looked tired, angry or distraught. As much as he had grown used to understanding his friend's various expressions, his current one simply rejected interpretation.

Rouxls' mouth felt dry as he tried to figure out what to even say. Seems Klieg wasn't willing to say the first word to him. If anything, he was uncharacteristically quiet.

"G...Good evening..." Rouxls managed to mutter, trying to force a smile but the light darkner's expression remained unphased, not speaking another word as he maintained the firm eye contact.

Rouxls felt his smile crack as shame took over, realizing Klieg simply refused to utter any word, his silence unbreaking.

"I..." Rouxls tried to utter, but all words got caught in his throat as he swallowed in dry "I did not mean to awaketh thee..."

Klieg looked like he wanted to respond, but instead, he broke the stare, glancing at the side without another word. This wasn't like him at all, and Rouxls noticed from the Light Darkner's fidgeting fingers, realizing that he was just as anxious to see him as Rouxls was.

"...I juste... wanted to cometh pick my belongings..." Rouxls stammered, pausing every time in hopes of hearing a response from his friend.

". . ." Klieg remained quiet, though Rouxls noticed the slight flick of his hinges, a solemn feeling taking over as the light heard these words.

The silence was driving Rouxls mad as he allowed himself to walk into the room, his expression becoming desperate "Art... Art thou not going to say anythinge...? Do thou loathe me so...?"

Klieg closed his eye, the room becoming only illuminated by the glow of his arms "So, you were leaving, then..." He managed to mutter, his voice croaky like a whisper "...Just do it quietly."

Rouxls was surprised by the lack of anger in his voice, instead replaced by sheer acceptance, like this scenario was something he had ruminated about for a while. He did not have the voice of someone who had just woken up either.

Rouxls was at a loss for words. He knew he would have hurt him regardless, and he had accepted it. He was Rouxls Kaard, after all. Selfish, opportunistic and self-serving, if anyone was going to engage with him and get hurt, it was on them for not knowing better.

But seeing the distraught look on his friend's barely repressed expression just hit him differently. Rouxls... hadn't wanted to hurt him, and he knew it was by nature of who he was, but even so-

"I'm sorry if I..." Klieg began, "If I made you feel used or... objectified or put on a pedestal... I don't blame you for feeling disgusted by me..." He muttered, hugging his knees.

Rouxls looked caught off guard by this, turning back to him with a confused expression "Disgust...?" He repeated, getting Klieg to hold himself tighter, avoiding his gaze.

Disgust...? The thought had never even occurred to Rouxls once. Was he referring to last night? The Light Darkner had returned to being silent, looking as if the mere idea of being stared at was physically painful.

"I never felt disgusted by thou..." Rouxls stammered. Part of him felt like he could save the situation if he focused on this, but the only disgust he felt was with himself for even considering hiding the real reason he left.

Klieg didn't respond, incapable of seeing any other reason Rouxls would have left. It was painful to see Klieg like this, obviously, Rouxls himself was the awful bad person here, how couldn't he see this? Why did Rouxls want him to see him that way?

"Kliegeth... I... do Not deserveth thou falling in love with someone like me. Thou deserveth much better than I..."

"...what...?" Klieg looked back at him, looking distraught "I... I thought you were upset because I Didn't feel that way..."

Rouxls looked guilty to the side "How doth thou expecteth me to believe that..." He felt awful even saying this "Thoust light shineth brighter than thine sun itself... Thou cannot be loveless... thou holdeth so much passion within thyself, and I... am undeserving of it..."

Klieg looked surprised by this, but also a bit saddened "Rouxls... That's not... I'm not..." He looked flustered "Is that how thou sees me...?"

Rouxls so badly wanted to approach him, but felt his body holding him back, he didn't deserve it, he didn't deserve him "Art I incorrect...?"

Klieg looked silent for a few seconds as if gathering his thoughts "I love stories... I love my work... I thought if I made you part of my work, then I could love you too... But I don't... You're... You were my best friend ..." Klieg admitted "And I took advantage of you..."

With this, Rouxls was at a loss for words, stepping closer to him, which caused Klieg to look surprised at him "Roux...? Are you...?"

"I did not feel like thou tooketh advantage of me..."

"N-No, I mean... You're... limping... "

Rouxls blinked in surprise, having almost forgotten the messy state he was in after his fall "Ah... This... I felleth... when attempting a breaketh into... thine home."

Klieg looked solemn, his voice becoming quiet "You could have knocked..."

Rouxls looked to the side in embarrassment "Aye... But it is quite late."

"Well, I haven't quite slept tonight..." Klieg continued, pausing for a bit as if dreading his next words "Are you going to leave...?"

Rouxls looked quietly, earlier he was so sure about following through with this, but his heart was so tired, and in the dark room, the soft warm light from Klieg's body was just so inviting.

As such, wordlessly, Rouxls sat on the bed as well, avoiding his gaze.

The Light Darkner felt unsure of how to interpret this, waiting for his response until Rouxls finally spoke.

"I've hurt thou... thou should knoweth that I am not a good man..." He spoke, "I do not wisheth to hurt thine feelings..."

Klieg listened quietly "Then... why did you leave...? ...why did you come back...?"

Rouxls looked back at him with a blush, then faced down "I was simplye too selfish to careth how that would maketh thou feel..."

"...So you didn't return because you wanted your belongings back..." Klieg softly asked, noticing Rouxls close his eyes.

"Hah... T'was a rather daft plan..." Rouxls forced a laugh, "Thou m-must despise me by now... Haha... I am quite foolish, am I not?"

Klieg noticed how the blue darkner had begun to tear up as he said this, his quiet laughs turning into sobs as he covered his face.

Rouxls gasped when he felt himself held by Klieg's embrace, who had approached him quietly, and without another word, Rouxls buried his face in his friend's neck as he wept.

They were like this for a while, the affectionate gesture reminding Rouxls of how overwhelmed he had felt in the morning. The thought that he was unworthy of warmth and care... He wasn't in love, but whatever he felt whenever they were this close to one another, it was so much more than he could put into words.

"...I-I'm sorrye..." Rouxls managed to speak, "Can thou ever forgiveth me...?"

Rouxls simply felt Klieg nodding "...I don't want to lose you again... But if you must leave... Please leave a note first..." the Light Darkner muttered, hearing a sniff from Rouxls who closed his eyes, enjoying the warmth and closeness from their bodies.

"'tis my fault... L-Last night I pressured thou... without being awareth of mine own feelingesth towardst thee..."

Klieg listened quietly, looking solemn "We can forget about it if thou prefers..." He said, "Like it never happened..."

Rouxls seemed to be thinking about it, flushing slightly "Thou misunderstandeth... I just did not realizeth that I felt under-equipped to handleth thine romantic feelings..."

" Not romantic..."

"Of that, I am awareth now..." Rouxls muttered, his crying slowly subsiding as he enjoyed the affection he was being given.

"It never happened then..." Klieg muttered reluctantly, the closeness filling him with longing.

"Never..." Rouxls was silent for a moment "But I shan't forget it..." A gentle smile appeared on his face, getting Klieg to become quiet for a few seconds.

"...M-Me neither..." Klieg admitted, still holding Rouxls, his gaze falling on his bruised knee "S-Still... You're hurt... Your leg..."

"Thou were not exactlye gentleth with me..." Rouxls muttered, with a hint of teasing, getting a genuinely concerned look from Klieg.

"...?! I-Is that why you were limping?!"

Rouxls chuckled, shaking his head "Oh, I just jest... I uh... I fell when getting insideth..."

"So that's what that sound was..." Klieg muttered, shaking his head "Again, you could have knocked..."

"Aye... But 'tis late and thine window wast openeth and I... did not expecteth thou to inviteth me in thouself..."

"I would have..." Klieg's voice grew quiet "I was upset, but..."

"And thou did not come checketh on the crashing...?" Rouxls inquired, noticing Klieg lowering his top hinges in shame.

"I... froze." He admitted, getting Rouxls to blink in bewilderment. Still being held, the blue darkner held his partner back, his arms wrapping around his torso as he took a deep breath, resting his head on Klieg's shoulder.

"To thinketh I was so afraid of thine outburst..."

"Don't... do this to me..." Klieg muttered longingly, "What do you want from me...? How can I fix it...?"

Rouxls flushed at this question, not feeling sure of how to even articulate his thoughts "...Just... stayeth... like this..."

The light darkner obliged, closing his eye, "You make me so terrified of letting you go..." Klieg muttered as Rouxls felt the two sets of arms comfortably holding him "But I shouldn't tie you down... No matter how much I'd wish to make you mine..." He loosened his grasp, his wording making Rouxls flush.

"Thou art too bold..." The card darkner closed his eyes, feeling Klieg reach for his knee, feeling it gently.

"Is it hurting...?" He inquired.

"Oh, 'tis just a scratch..." Rouxls responded dismissively as Klieg felt his hand get slightly humid from the wound.

"You're bleeding.. ."

"Aye, 'tis just a flesh wound, my friend..."

Klieg wasn't sure whether to laugh at this reference or to scold Rouxls for his consistent dismissal of his own well-being.

"It is not the time to attempt to charm me, Roux... Let me treat that..." He stated, letting go of Rouxls who let out a whine in response.

"Thou worrieth too much..." Rouxls removed his hair from his face, noticing Klieg get up and straightening his tank top.

"If I don't, you'll just keep hurting yourself." He stated, walking to another room in the house "I'll see what I can find for that."

Rouxls rolled his eyes with a sad smile, looking around his friend's room, not much different from the night before, except with the addition of more sheets filled with scribbled writings and messy doodles.

He casually picked one up, the messy handwriting suggesting it had been written through a moment of immense stress. Picking up more of the sheets, Rouxls frowned, realizing the perception that Klieg had of himself was a lot more intense and far rooted in shame than he had imagined.

It seemed he had been inspired, but the negative notes heavily outweighed any positive perception he had had. They both felt so much shame in their lovelessness. Why did it matter? Why did it matter which words they said to one another or what they chose to call each other?

When Klieg returned, first aid kit in hand, he was surprised to find Rouxls solemnly looking back at him, his embarrassing vent writings on his partner's hands.

Klieg was at a loss for words, enthralled by the soft tired look of Rouxls' face, whose gaze eventually looked back down at the pages, still holding them as Klieg walked in, too embarrassed to know what to say.

"I was awareth that I would hurteth thou by leavinge... but I did not realizeth the ways thou would be in pain..."

Klieg looked sadly, surprised to have his pain acknowledged. He had just hoped to be able to suck it up, channel it into his work until it didn't hurt anymore, and move on, business as usual.

He sat by Rouxls once more, putting the aid kit aside "I apologize, my handwriting is terrible as you already know... I wasn't expecting to share..."

"I understoodeth enough..." Rouxls continued, a sad smile on his face, handing Klieg his papers "t'was not wise of me to mishandleth thine heart... Thou makest me want to be better..."

Klieg just listened quietly, looking down at his writing and putting the papers aside as he opened the aid kit. He seemed hesitant for a moment, looking back at Rouxls, his expression concerned.

"Are you... d...do you... want to stay over...? It is so late..." Klieg slowly asked "We do not have to sleep in the same bed, of course..."

Rouxls flushed in response, but instead, he just glanced down, rubbing his arm while looking a bit guilty "Thou art quite naiveth to trust me once more..."

"If thou will place thine trust on me as well... I'll keep my hands out of your heart... It is not mine to take..."

"Even when I hurteth thine flickering soul...?"

Klieg just nodded silently, his lights glowing a warm yellow "Even so..."

"Then..." Rouxls looked thoughtful "I shall maketh my sworn duty to protecteth thine heart! Guardingueth like thousts most valued treasure!" He stated, placing his hands on Klieg's chest, who seemed to flush and freeze up at this gesture.

Rouxls seemed to notice this, sheepishly letting go with an embarrassed smile, maybe he shouldn't push his luck too much. He recalled the feeling of Klieg's whirring chest last night, like a soft purr from within. How he missed being that close again...

He took notice of Klieg composing himself, hiding his face by checking a first aid guide as Rouxls came to wonder why the Light Darkner would even own such a redundant kit himself.

"It's stated here that the wound should be cleaned first..." Klieg spoke, trying to keep a focused tone, but it seemed to be slipping "Can... Can we get a closer look...?"

Rouxls seemed a bit embarrassed but nodded, his usual suit pants being far too tight to casually pull up, instead he began to lower his pants, aware of the awkwardness of it all.

There was no reason to feel embarrassed anymore, Klieg had seen what he looked like and seemed to distract himself by reading the guide.

Rouxls' knees had both bruised, his soft skin growing harder where he had injured himself, although the bleeding had stopped, there were still blue smudges of blood and he winced after realizing how much it stung to move.

"Hah... Funnye, is it not?"

"Far from amusing..." Klieg muttered as he began to gently clean the wound "But I see the metaphor for self-sabotage..."

Rouxls let out a half-hearted laugh, but noticed the way Klieg seemed almost absent in his manner of speaking "Why doth thou needeth a first aid kit in thine home?" He inquired, the question refusing to leave his mind. The robotic darkner would have no use for such a thing.

Klieg flushed with this response, but continued treating him "Uhm... For... the same reason I let you leave your things at my place..."

Rouxls blinked, feeling too clueless to understand why Klieg let him do that, and how it would be associated with the aid kit in the first place "I'm afraideth that I do not understand thousts intent..."

Resting his hand on Rouxls' thigh, Klieg seemed focused in thought "I... I guess I..." He hesitated "No... No, it's stupid."

Rouxls realized the way Klieg stammered, his light flickering at certain points, and wordlessly the blue Darkner reached for his hand, his touch reassuring him.

"...It's embarrassing to say out loud like this..." Klieg continued but saw the way Rouxls stared expectantly at him, an expression he was surprised to see.

"Thousts capacity for endless feelingeths of embarrassment ist quite astonishingue at times..."

"I-I'm not used to such levels of vulnerability...!" Klieg looked flustered, returning to treating Rouxls' wound "...I just... I really like having you around... A-And I'd like for you to feel at home here... Not just as a guest or passerby..."

Rouxls listened attentively, recalling his lonely room in the castle, spending his time visiting and nagging his neighbours, but never had anyone wanted to make him feel more at home like this.

His knees still stung, but much less after being taken care of, and seeing Klieg place the light blue bandaid in his knee finally made it click in Rouxls' mind.

"Doth, thou keepeth the aid kid because of me? That is quiteth flattering..." Rouxls seemed unsure of how to word himself, worrying that his surprise didn't do justice to his feelings. But when Klieg just flushed and didn't respond, it confirmed his suspicions.

"Y-Yes... Roux, you're... also the reason I keep blankets near the couch... a-and snacks thou enjoys of course... I don't eat..." Klieg's light grew brighter the more flustered he got and he lowered his face, his hand distractedly covering his face "It's not a romantic thing, it's just... It makes me so happy to have you around... And if you are hurt... I want to be able to help... And not just... uselessly stand there as your body turns to stone. ...Metaphorically speaking. "

Rouxls recalled the memory of their initial meeting, and how distraught Klieg had been by his statued form. It took the Light Darkner a while to adjust, never having witnessed a petrifying transformation like that.

Overall, Rouxls had started to worry that he had little to offer in return for his friend's affection and care, the self-loathing crept back in every now and then, and the moment Klieg had become someone he cared about, Rouxls' usual dismissal of others stung when he realized he was doing it to someone who held him in such high regard.

"Thou should knoweth I am undeservinge of sucheth endearing acts of affection, Kliegeth..." Rouxls muttered with a sad smile "'tis not as I bringeth much to thousts metaphorical film set."

Klieg had noticed the defeatist tone in his partner's voice "You're enough... More than enough... If I've been overbearing, I'm sorry... I can't help it... If you were to have a glimpse at the way I see you..."

"Liketh a Lightner's star-filled sky..." Rouxls met his gaze for just a moment "I recallst thy wording, my Sun..."

Klieg flickered in surprise, noticing how Rouxls approached a hand to his face, the affectionate gesture startling the Light Darkner.

And yet, closing his eye, Klieg couldn't help but lean towards his touch, even if his touch starvation left him sick to his stomach with longing, feeling Rouxls' fingers melt together from the heat of his light.

"Like thoust sun, my light... thou will burneth my skin if I amst to kindle thine fire..."

Keeping his eye closed, Klieg reached towards Rouxls' melting hand, his own solid hand holding the duke's, even if his fingers slowly melted into his, "And if it doesn't...?" He inquired.

Rouxls was silent for a moment as Klieg glanced at him "I shant risketh my luck..." He slowly pulled his hand away, returning to its original form when away from the source of heat "Likewise, I too fear losing mineself in thine warmth..."

"...Oh." Klieg sighed, seeing the way Rouxls held himself, seeking comfort but ready to reject it if Klieg were to offer it.

"I'd liketh to rest on thine couch..." Rouxls finally said, noticing the disappointed look on Klieg's face.

"Are you sure...?" Klieg asked in uncertainty, looking like he wanted to reach towards him but holding himself back as Rouxls nodded with a tired look on his face.

"Aye... I needeth to be by my lonesome..."

Klieg looked saddened by this "I see... I can go prepare it, then."

"N-No! I shall handle that task... Thou shouldeth go rest thine body and mind."

Klieg looked up at Rouxls who got up from his bed, his expression quiet but accepting as he dimmed his lights, avoiding his friend's gaze once more.

Rouxls' chest ached as he looked at him, too tired to protest "I... I shan't leave in the morning without sayingeth goodbye..."

The Light Darkner kept his gaze low, nodding quietly but still avoiding looking at him directly "Alright... I-If you need anything..." His voice drifted off, looking like he wanted to say something but held himself back "...I apologize for making things strange..."

"It is not thouself who ist to blameth..." Rouxls muttered, walking towards the door "Have a good rest..."

Rouxls' chest ached with this interaction, knowing where to find his sleepwear and blanket, he switched to sleeping clothes and getting his pillow and blanket, let himself lay on the couch he had learned to adopt as his own, allowing himself to close his eyes and rest.

What felt like an hour or so had gone by, rolling in his sleep, Rouxls' thoughts were restless and he just couldn't relax. His self-loathing felt so overwhelming, going through brief moments of stressful dreams.

Rouxls had gotten used to falling asleep to Klieg's company, it wasn't the same without him being there. How could he rest after upsetting his friend this much?

Sleepily, Rouxls looked up, trying to catch a glimpse of his partner's room. It had grown darker, likely meaning he was fast asleep, and yet, here Rouxls was, still awake, still ruminating on his thoughts.

He couldn't sleep like this...

He fought himself about it for a while, but grabbing his pillow, Rouxls quietly and slowly walked back to his friend's room.

Klieg had gone to sleep, his lights dim like they'd be when he would rest. And with his tired vision blurring and making it hard to see, Rouxls made his way to the bed as well, slowly and quietly taking the side he had slept on the night before.

Klieg had his back turned towards him, seeming to raise his head slowly when he felt Rouxls joining in but being too drowsy to react. Once he had joined him, Rouxls felt a weight lift from his chest, nudging closer to his partner and resting his head on his back. He felt the gentle purr from Klieg's whirring chest, allowing for his own blue lanky arms to wrap around his torso as he closed his eyes and embraced him.

Drowsily, Klieg was barely processing his new position as the little spoon, as Rouxls' arms around him were still timidly holding his waist. Accepting it, Klieg's body just relaxed, leaning into the affection as his own sleepy hand held on to Rouxls'.

The way the blue Darkner was holding him was just shy of desperate. Like he wanted all the comfort he could be given, his mind constantly called him undeserving and unearning of the affection. But the physical affection always felt the most natural.

Resting his head on Klieg's shoulder, Rouxls allowed himself to fall asleep with the heat of his partner's body. He was exhausted from planning his schemes and catastrophizing over the thought of losing his friend's respect.

Instead, the two rested together, as Klieg felt Rouxls falling asleep holding onto his back, he slowly turned around, his worries over disturbing Rouxls quickly dissipating as the blue darkner snuggled towards him, breathing warmly on his chest.

Morning would be arriving soon, but the two were far too exhausted to care, simply embracing one another, craving the intimacy they had shared the night before. Rouxls didn't care that he felt his body melting into Klieg's, as the Light Darkner's lamp dimmed to a low hum.

Maybe there was a way to not burn one another after all...

ᐊ ❤ ᐅ